There is nothing out there. That is the first rule of life out here. The second rule is that you should pick one direction and just walk it, as long as you can bear to walk it. You will never get anywhere, except for maybe a small yak and goat farm on the border, but that is impossibly far off – an inconceivable distance. Those are the two rules; never forget the rules. That is our way of life. Don’t think about the rules – they just are. Accept that there is emptiness, there is the sky and the ground, but they create an emptiness; try to accept one direction, one direction of a featureless landscape is the same as all directions.
The ground is salt and flat and pressed smooth by the ice age, there is perpetual dawn on all of the horizons, which never climaxes and breaks into noon.
I have walked, but the land has never changed, so I keep walking in all directions. I have tried to will the landscape, and it remains a desert of saline twilight. The sun is coy here and never seems brighter in one direction or another: all of my perspectives have been choked down into a single vantage. I look straight ahead at all times, because there is no reason to turn my head. I imagine what the sun used to look like back home – where I was born and raised – and I can see it as a giant egg, cracked on the edge of the horizon and laid out across the sky. The golden rich yolk piling up in the middle, ready to spill out in all directions with the a touch, and jeesuus the whites, oozing outward. It’s cytoplasm splayed out and crisping in the hot oil and butter. I would just have to scratch the salt from the flat of the ground and gently sprinkle it over the corona and dine.
I came upon a massive swarm of flies, undulating and fantastic, screaming across the surface of the gulag. They moved in a continuum, as a school of fish. A bead – or beads – of mercury on a vibrating table, that combine and dissociate and combine, shuttering and morphing in a constant flow of energy across the flat circling landscape in a feeding frenzy of current. They moved in and out of forms, some resembling a larger organism, they writhed in an attempt to spring to a consciousness.
-Flies. Flies. Flies. Flies all around, when I gas them they’ll fall to the ground.
They all at once swooped low around me, buzzing in the ears and mouth and choking me in a black cloud.
-Do you know the direction home?
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
-What I wouldn’t give for an omelet right now…
Buzz.